"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others."
if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others."
When I was in junior high, I took a spiritual gifts test. It told me I had the gifts of encouragement and mercy. I wanted to be able to use my gifts right away, as if it was birthday money. But I would have never been prepared for what happened several years later.
I haven't posted a video on here before, but I am going to post a youtube link. I know is almost 10 minutes long, but I promise you, the 10 minutes feel like 10 seconds. It's amazing how God uses others to minister His word to me. Please, don't read further until you've watched that video. I can wait. :)
❤
It was almost like God was speaking through Nate to get to me, and tell me this the words that I was having so much trouble coming up with to write. We all have fallen short of the glory of God; we have all sinned. It's our earthly nature. I'm not telling you that you have to be perfect - there is only one man that was. I'm not telling you to strip your lives of everything you've worked for, God put those things in your life for a reason. He put circumstances in our lives to break us down, to build us up, to trust in Him and to walk with Him without regrets.
I was thinking about the day I gave my testimony to Phi Lamb. It was almost as if it was a movie playing, in black and white, and the sound and picture were crackling. I wish I would have been able to tell them this before I even started to tell them the struggles, pain, sin, guilt, lust, depression that I went through.
I do not regret the sin that I experienced. Now I know a good portion of you will say, Kelsea, why would you say that? How can you profess the name of God and then say you don't regret sinning? How can you say "Yes, I drank, yes I did this or that" and you don't regret it. This is why. If I didn't experience the things I went through back then, I would not be as strong in my faith as I am today. If I can't share my testimony about how doing something I should not have caused me to be broken down the the deepest part of my heart and witness to others, then what's the point? If I can't say, "Yes, I have been there. I am praying for you. I empathize with you", then it's almost like my words are meaningless. I wouldn't be able to tell you that I broke down one night and prayed with tears in my eyes for hours begging God to take me back because I felt so dirty and lost. I couldn't tell you how I felt whenever I drank one too many alcoholic drinks and ended up blacked out. I felt blind, deaf and really dumb. But if I didn't experience all of those things, I couldn't witness that aspect to others. I could tell you how God loves you even when bad things happen to bad people.
It kind of reminds me of watching a movie. We're not really interested until there's profanity, there's nudity, provocativeness, taking the Lord's name in vain, death, condemnation, guilt, struggle, etc. until there's so much filth that we crave more. I remember trying to witness to one person whenever I was in junior high or high school. I told them about the love of Jesus and how everything is right and good and pure whenever you drop everything and follow Him. They told me I was crazy, that my life was completely "perfect" and I was just putting on a flashy show. They told me I couldn't possibly relate to what they are going through and that my testimony would mean nothing until something bad happened to me.
And as crazy as that sounds, I took what they said to heart. I lightly asked God to change my life, let me be a testimony to others, let me be a real life example of what happens whenever you break down so much that you can't handle being on Earth anymore. I asked Him to let me experience so I can witness.
A few years later, he did.
He gave me a car, He gave me a boyfriend, He gave me friends. He gave me a credit card, a healthy body, clothes on my back, a roof over my head, loving family, perfect parents, he gave me everything I could ever want at that time. He allowed me to experience sin and to taste its quick fulfillment and let me have more. I professed to be a Christian, that I loved God with all of my heart, but when no one else was looking, I sinned. I tried to portray myself as this perfect Christian girl who could do no wrong. He let me use the world as my playground ... and took it all away a year later.
I lost my boyfriend because he decided to go into the military and marry someone else. He broke apart the marriage that I thought would stand the test of time and would mend through the brokenness. He took away my credit card, He took away my friends, gave me more challenges, and I was left in a dorm room depressed and all alone.
Before I continue, there were other things that caused the breakdowns. A big part of it was choices I made, choices that I know now that I shouldn't have made, but my sinful and prideful and lustful nature wanted them so bad that I got what I wanted. The night I broke down, I cried and cursed and question God, "why did you do this to me? Do you not love me anymore?" And the questions kept coming out.
The good news is that through grace, mercy, and Christian friends, I got through that awful experience. And yes, there were many times that I did slip up, and I pushed God aside like it wasn't a big deal, and went about my business. But God has always been there right with me, He's never failed me, and He gave me the best gifts that I can think of: salvation and repentance.
He is a loving and a just God, and He will give you a gift that you will never forget.
So you have two choices. I have two choices. I can either proclaim or harden my heart. Repent or deny. You can choose to follow or forget Him.
I'm not asking you to go on a God high. I define that phrase as going to church, church camp, a "revival", Overflow (for those that are at OSU), or two some other Christian-related event, and get "high" on God for one day - and then a week later you forget the feelings that you had for Him. Believe me, I've done that. I've been there. I know what it's like to go to Overflow on a Tuesday night and then to the bars on Thursday night. Please, don't do that. Invest in Him, just as much as He invested in you.
The choice is yours.
Love,
Kelsea
I was thinking about the day I gave my testimony to Phi Lamb. It was almost as if it was a movie playing, in black and white, and the sound and picture were crackling. I wish I would have been able to tell them this before I even started to tell them the struggles, pain, sin, guilt, lust, depression that I went through.
I do not regret the sin that I experienced. Now I know a good portion of you will say, Kelsea, why would you say that? How can you profess the name of God and then say you don't regret sinning? How can you say "Yes, I drank, yes I did this or that" and you don't regret it. This is why. If I didn't experience the things I went through back then, I would not be as strong in my faith as I am today. If I can't share my testimony about how doing something I should not have caused me to be broken down the the deepest part of my heart and witness to others, then what's the point? If I can't say, "Yes, I have been there. I am praying for you. I empathize with you", then it's almost like my words are meaningless. I wouldn't be able to tell you that I broke down one night and prayed with tears in my eyes for hours begging God to take me back because I felt so dirty and lost. I couldn't tell you how I felt whenever I drank one too many alcoholic drinks and ended up blacked out. I felt blind, deaf and really dumb. But if I didn't experience all of those things, I couldn't witness that aspect to others. I could tell you how God loves you even when bad things happen to bad people.
It kind of reminds me of watching a movie. We're not really interested until there's profanity, there's nudity, provocativeness, taking the Lord's name in vain, death, condemnation, guilt, struggle, etc. until there's so much filth that we crave more. I remember trying to witness to one person whenever I was in junior high or high school. I told them about the love of Jesus and how everything is right and good and pure whenever you drop everything and follow Him. They told me I was crazy, that my life was completely "perfect" and I was just putting on a flashy show. They told me I couldn't possibly relate to what they are going through and that my testimony would mean nothing until something bad happened to me.
And as crazy as that sounds, I took what they said to heart. I lightly asked God to change my life, let me be a testimony to others, let me be a real life example of what happens whenever you break down so much that you can't handle being on Earth anymore. I asked Him to let me experience so I can witness.
A few years later, he did.
He gave me a car, He gave me a boyfriend, He gave me friends. He gave me a credit card, a healthy body, clothes on my back, a roof over my head, loving family, perfect parents, he gave me everything I could ever want at that time. He allowed me to experience sin and to taste its quick fulfillment and let me have more. I professed to be a Christian, that I loved God with all of my heart, but when no one else was looking, I sinned. I tried to portray myself as this perfect Christian girl who could do no wrong. He let me use the world as my playground ... and took it all away a year later.
I lost my boyfriend because he decided to go into the military and marry someone else. He broke apart the marriage that I thought would stand the test of time and would mend through the brokenness. He took away my credit card, He took away my friends, gave me more challenges, and I was left in a dorm room depressed and all alone.
Before I continue, there were other things that caused the breakdowns. A big part of it was choices I made, choices that I know now that I shouldn't have made, but my sinful and prideful and lustful nature wanted them so bad that I got what I wanted. The night I broke down, I cried and cursed and question God, "why did you do this to me? Do you not love me anymore?" And the questions kept coming out.
The good news is that through grace, mercy, and Christian friends, I got through that awful experience. And yes, there were many times that I did slip up, and I pushed God aside like it wasn't a big deal, and went about my business. But God has always been there right with me, He's never failed me, and He gave me the best gifts that I can think of: salvation and repentance.
He is a loving and a just God, and He will give you a gift that you will never forget.
So you have two choices. I have two choices. I can either proclaim or harden my heart. Repent or deny. You can choose to follow or forget Him.
I'm not asking you to go on a God high. I define that phrase as going to church, church camp, a "revival", Overflow (for those that are at OSU), or two some other Christian-related event, and get "high" on God for one day - and then a week later you forget the feelings that you had for Him. Believe me, I've done that. I've been there. I know what it's like to go to Overflow on a Tuesday night and then to the bars on Thursday night. Please, don't do that. Invest in Him, just as much as He invested in you.
The choice is yours.
Love,
Kelsea
No comments:
Post a Comment