Titus 3:3-7: new year

"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." -Titus 3:3-7

Hello to all of my lovely readers, and happy new year!  I hope that everyone had a wonderful and safe NYE celebration - it ended all too soon with both holidays being smack dab in the middle of the week.  

I came across this blog on Facebook earlier, and I wanted to share it with you.  Although there are no affiliations, it still is a good read about not jumping from one "safety blanket" to the next when you're in your twenties.  There are a few exceptions to the rule - one couple in particular that were together almost six years before tying the knot, and are still together today.  With that said, it is up to us to define how we want to live our lives - how we want to be perceived and remembered.  

Do I want to be remembered as the girl who was engaged at nineteen and (thankfully) decided it wasn't the right time, or do I want to be remembered as a lady who helps children and adults communicate and function in this world?  Do I want to be known for the boys I have kissed or the number of lives I have impacted in a Godly way?  Do I want to be known as the fertile turtle who has four kids before her ten year high school reunion or the one who chooses to adopt a child in need?  We tend to want to have a legally binding excuse to cuddle and make babies before we are truly mature enough and ready.     


Now, let me say that all of those qualities can go both ways.  Everyone is different - everyone has their own goals and their own path that they choose to walk.  For me, the whole going to the chapel is enough to throw my nerves through a loop.  As much as I would love to get married tomorrow to Mr. Right, there are some important things that cannot be overlooked.  For starters, I'm not living on my own.  After looking at my finances, I have logically realized that it would be impossible to make it on my own without a little help.  After all, student loans are practically a mortgage payment and they aren't going away anytime soon.  I refuse to submerse myself into credit card debt.  I'm not going to fully rely on someone to support me.  That's just asking for trouble.  

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. -Jeremiah 29:11

Lord, calm my anxious heart.  With You all things are possible.  You know my thoughts inside and out, and you know what's spinning through my head.  Help me know that You are in control and You know what is best for me.  Amen.

1st Corinthians 10:31

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Last night, before I fell asleep, I prayed, and used a specific phrase, like I always do: glorify You in everything I do. As automatic as it sometimes sounds when I pray, I was thinking about that part this morning, and lo and behold, there is a bible verse about it. I'm assuming Paul is talking to the Corinthians in this verse (it's too early to be doing any kind of historical background check), and he meant every word of this verse. When I was about 17-19, I thought that I could lock up God in a box and put him in my closet so He wouldn't see what I was doing or saying. I can't explain well the emotions and feelings I have when I try to separate myself from God for that instant, but it's very scary. I feel as if a piece of my heart is empty, and I am standing naked in a cold street at night with no shelter or clothing to warm me up. I can almost feel as if my sins are creating a giant thunderstorm that's building up and everything seems to get dark and I can't see the light (hence the separation). But now that I look back on the written feelings I had from my previous journals, I can't imagine my life without Him.

It's been said that college is supposed to be the most amazing time of your life - you're supposed to experience "life", get "it" out of your system, and learn from making mistakes. All three of these things I know personally. I used to use food as a source to feel better - instead, I gained the "freshman 20" (not 15) and filled my body with junk food and caffiene for a good semester. I decided that it wasn't important to dive into God word and to go to church on a regular basis; instead, I decided that Joe's and Stonewall were much better choices. I also thought that Halloween was college-code for getting drunk as much as possible while wearing the sluttiest outfit possible and making a mockery of yourself in public. I don't remember a lot of that night, but I do remember dressing up and freezing my buns off and then getting drunk thinking that it would make the "cold" go away. Next thing I knew, I wake up in my bed (Lord only knows how I got there) and I reek of tequila, vodka, and smoke. My hair was completely matted from all of the teasing and hairspray (I'm surprised I didn't loose half of it that night), and I still felt awful the next morning.

The bible clearly states that we aren't to fall into debauchery and yet I did that... several times. This last Halloween, I chose to stay at home and read a book by a Christian author. Although I stayed home, and although my Halloween costume consisted of pj pants and a hoodie, I was so thankful and grateful that I chose to learn more about God's love for me. It is so much more important and rewarding to live our lives for our Savior than for ourselves. Now that I can look back and reflect on the stupid things I did during college, I can learn from my mistakes and move forward - that is the greatest feeling in the world. God doesn't haunt and taunt us with our past mistakes, He doesn't point the finger and remind us of what an idiot we made of ourselves, He forgives and forgets (simply stated, minus the theological argument).

So how can we glorify God in our academic life? Homework? Tests? Papers? Projects? Those answers are still unclear to me, but I know that God will answer them soon. As of now, I decided to listen to Christian music while I'm doing my homework to see how productive I am, or I'll take a break and read the bible to get some guidance. Anyway, any method, any situation, any time, any place, I want to do it all for the glory of God.

Much Love,
Kelsea