"This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith."
It has been ten days since I've been on here - mainly because (1) I was at the lake, (2) internet sucks at my mom's, and (3) I wanted to sleep and enjoy the HOT, but true-blue Summer weather that God promised me after I finished with class. For those of you who are shaking your fists at the bank's thermostat, keeping an extra (frozen) bottled-water on hand, and/or praying that the utilities bill isn't going to make you eat ramen noodles for a month, blame it on me. As a disclaimer, I won't foot your bills. But, I will promise you a lengthy and entertaining blog below. So sit back, relax, and don't be afraid to laugh (or talk) out loud or nod your head in agreement.
I can officially announce that I have successfully completed my first "semester" of grad school at NSU. I haven't decided if I'm going to count this as a "true" semester, considering five hours were tackled in a span of eight weeks, but considering I have been ranting and gritching about that Research project that was finally turned in, maybe it can be justified. I wish I would have consistently kept a time log to prove to my professor who somehow managed to give me a "B" that I deserve a higher grade. I really wasn't able to see the light at the end of the tunnel about a week before it was due, maybe due to the fact that I was lacking three articles over a subject that I have no intention on furthering my career in, or maybe because the idea of researching, citing, and summarizing seventy-five articles bring a few choice four letter words to my mind... or mouth. That's the great thing about living by yourself - you can easily jump up and down in a circular motion while spouting off a word that you would get you "soap in your mouth" if you said it in front of your mother (but maybe it's not so good for the unfortunate soul that lives underneath me - she's an undergrad SLP major, she'll understand my pain and agree with me soon enough).
❦Stubborn❦
Either way, I am very thankful that I now have five hours down, forty-one to go, and a very good chunk of those (I know at least of eleven) are related to designated clinic hours. I'm pretty excited to get my hands on those little ankle-biters and teach them the ways of an /r/, an affricate, or fricative (which, by the way, I think the words "affricate" and "fricative" sound dirty, or something resembling a curse word). Oh, and for those of you who are wondering why in the world there are slash marks encompassing that "r", I'm referring to the sound, not the letter. Speech paths (to be) have a tendency to bring out the best of phonetics/phonology into their writing - it's a wonderful tool whenever the professor is talking at warp speed or at an unusual dialectical rate and the best you can do is write it down in phonetics and then try to decipher the cryptic code later when you have had time to take a nap. That's another thing. Naps are essential to my grad school experience. I was unfortunately summoned (I wanted to say "forced", but that sounds a little unorthodox) to eight a.m. classes (ugh!), which are something that only freshmen in high school subject themselves to because they think that eight a.m. is a "good idea" since they've already gotten used to it during their high school career. Oh contraire mon amie. You will learn (hopefully quickly) that eight a.m. classes are basically a way to torture students into thinking that this is how it is in the real world and therefore you should get up at the butt-crack of dawn just to listen to a professor ramble on about Algebra, History before 1850, or some western civilization class that you have no intention of visiting or (again) furthering your career in ever again. Alas, I would pop myself out of bed (my body thought it was funny to do this, my brain said a few choice words and they both argued until about 9:30-10:00. After being lectured about research and evidence-based practices (it's as exciting as it sounds), I would proceed to close my black-out curtains (another essential), drop my book-bag, fling my flip flops somewhere on the ground (hopefully not in the path of potential tripping), and then slide on top of my bed, being surrounded by two pillows, one body pillow that could make roommates think I had someone else accompanying me in my sleep, a simple cotton blanket that I (almost always) cacooned myself in in about five minutes, and my eye mask. There were a good handful of days that I tricked my body into thinking that it was two a.m. when it was actually two p.m.
❦Determined❦
Once the nap was over and my brain yelled at my body for making it sleep for two to four hours, I was then in "determination" mode. I distinctly remember sitting at my desk, with a Dr. Pepper on one side and a some caffeine or sugar driven snack on the other, and work on this awful torture project for the next eight hours - only coming up for air to watch an episode of Gilmore girls, a movie I was finishing up, or simply wanting to be a normal lazy person. I owe my successful college experience to my Savior, Dr. Pepper and Gilmore girls - I even finished the series in eight weeks, that's how much I didn't want to work on that project.
Over that eight week period, I made a promise to myself and to God that I wanted to do this His way, and I was going to do things His way. He had/has the power to do anything, and if it was up to Him and me if I passed my classes with flying colors. This is the wonderful attribute about 1st John 5:3-4. We don't do things because we know we'll get to enjoy the rewards (or repercussions), we do things because it genuinely pleases us and God. We obey His commands because that is what gets us through the day, and that's what makes us the happiest. We can't have ulterior motives and justify getting what we want because we "go through the motions". A way I can describe it is gift cards. Let's say you have a significant other, and this is your first Christmas together. Instead of listening to hints or figuring out something that you really would want or enjoy, they go to the nearest Walmart and put money on a gift card. Unless that gift card is for a restaurant, iTunes, Starbucks (for those of you crazy people who enjoy "liquid crack"), clothing store (we all have different tastes - I recognize that) or similar, in my opinion, gift cards annoy me. That is the person's way of saying, "I didn't or didn't want to put forth the time to actually buy you something, so here you go - make yourself happy." That's not how I want my Savior, the one who paid the debt for my sins, to be thanked. I want to genuinely live, breathe, think, walk, talk, love, along with an array of other appropriate verbs, for Him.
I don't want to give Him a reusable gift card of my love and devotion. I may be stubborn and determined, but I can't live without my Savior's overflowing mercy.
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