Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for 

and certain of what we do not see."

Happy Sunday, to my lovely readers.  Thank you for being patient with me as I have been somewhat MIA for a while.  I've been getting back into the swing of things with balancing work along with other important things.  For those of you who may not know, I love baking ... possibly more than cooking.  I love putting together something and have the sweet aroma fill my house, reminding me of when I was younger and my grandma used to make cookies and red velvet cake from scratch.  So I came across this delicious recipe a couple of weeks ago.  It is super easy, and the only thing you have to worry about is making sure your mixing bowl is big enough to hold all of the ingredients (oopsies).  You know that moment in the movie, Julie and Julia, when the characters cause things like flour to explode?  That was my kitchen for a while.  Granted, the end result was heavenly.

For a short and sweet update to my particular happenings...

I am three months away from completing my "last lap", as my father puts it, before I begin the paperwork process of being completely certified.  It's almost overwhelming to think that this time last year, I was in my last internship at JTR, hoping and praying that I would be offered a job before I moved the tassel to the other side of my face.  It's daunting to think that a year ago, I had no idea what the future had in store for me.  From receiving my first job offer, to almost having to start over, to being a mere three months way, has been an overwhelming experience.  I'm sure Jane Austen could muster up some words to express the feelings.

Almost two years ago, I thought I found my soulmate.  Although he ended up being a wolf in a sheep's wool, the experience taught me so much more than I can explain here.  I read somewhere the the five people that you surround yourself with, are the people that will influence and mold you the most.  Isn't that a scary thought?  God has a plan for me, I know it.  It's just a matter of letting Him do His job.  Have faith, my child - I hear Him say.  For those of you who know me, you know I am not necessarily public about my personal and romantic relationships.  After learning some hard lessons in high school and college, I made a promise to myself that I would not allow others to interfere with my own relationships.  I am not saying that I do not welcome words of wisdom or encourage, but I need to learn how to love on my own - not vicariously through someone else like in The Ugly Truth. 

Since June of last year, I set a goal for myself to be completely financially independent in a year. I also wanted God to show me whatever He needed to show me to trust Him with my financial means.  I have previously been very fortunate to have a loving family who has been my backbone in all that I am, but there was a point in my life that I wanted to take matters into my own hands.  After all, the schooling that I invested in over the last six years should have taught me something about money.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and saving as much money as I could would be the best bet.  About a week ago, I started noticing an awful noise emulating from my front driver's side tire, and one bill later, I am now the proud owner of a set of front brake pads and rotors.  Welcome to adulthood, sweetheart.  

Regardless of what is going on in your life, please remember that God loves you no matter what.  Have faith in His doings.  Don't concentrate on the twig, rather the forest.  It may seem like you're between a rock and a hard place - believe me, I'm right there with you - don't lose faith in God's will.  Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we cannot see.

 

 

Sing for me

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, 

is not pompous, it is not inflated, 

it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, 

it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, 

it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 I normally try to not post song lyrics on here, but I thought that the following were completely appropriate to sum up today.  Thank you, Christina Aguilera, for singing the words that I want to speak. 

Sometimes when I'm sitting on my bed
Feeling so, so lonely
Wishing someone hold me
All I have is three little notes playing in my head
Outside I can cover all the scars
Inside lie the words just pleading to be heard
'Cause all I have is three million melodies to kill the hurt

'Cause when I open my mouth
My whole heart comes out
Every tear I wanna cry is satisfied
I'm singing 'til I'm winning
Imma sing all night
'Cause when I open my mouth
There's no place to hide
Everything that I've been feeling runs wild and free
I'm singing 'cause I'm winning
Imma sing for me

I originally intended for this post to be related to love, and to the love I thought I had.  I guess that God had different plans for me.  He always does.  When I think He's going to do exactly what I want Him to do, He does the opposite.  And I can't blame Him - He knows better than me.  I don't know where I would be without His love and grace.

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will...
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you 

 Things happen in your life, you can't explain why.  There's no purpose in trying to dissect the situation and try to come up with some sort of justification for it.  I try so hard to analyze every tiny detail, and where do I end up?  Most times, it's a headache.  Or heartache.  Or a mixture of both.  What did I do wrong?  What did he do wrong?  What could I have said to finish the argument?  I want the last say, so why can't I come up with some sort of witty response?  It's ridiculous, right?  At least, that's what I try to make myself believe.  Life is too short.

God has a plan.  I don't need to know all of the details, but I do know that He will be right by my side each step of the way.

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Now that I have that outta the way.. time for the real post.  

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always ... Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Hello!  I hope that your week is going well - for me, it's going at about glacial speed.  Not to mention there are some things going on in my life that are up in the air and are in God's hands.  As much as I want to say that I always have faith and patience in Him, there are days where I doubt His plan.

I remember that moment when I received the rejection letter for graduate school at a particular university, and it was like a knife in the gut.  The plan was perfect (in my eyes at least).  Stay in the current town that I was living in, attend class in the same building that I've always been used to, and be able to travel the less than an hour drive to get back home.  But He had other plans.  Without that rejection letter, I wouldn't have met the amazing ladies that I did and formed the friendships that I made.  For all of that, it was all worth it - regardless of the internal program problems.  

I thought I was going to marry him.  I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and I was going to be able to finish college before I married him.  I thought we were going to have the white-picket fence with the cute little house and cute little kids.  God had different plans - plans to protect and guide me.  I had no idea that three little conversations would alter my life.  I wish I could go back in time and give myself some advice, but nonetheless I owe it to Jesus for saving my life.

We've all made mistakes or made choices that have altered our lives.  The purpose of those lessons in life are not to harm you, not to bring you down, but to protect you.  There is so much more forest than the tree you see.  Pray about a fork in the road - He will listen.  Pray about the relationship that may or may not be what you need in your life.  Pray about the job interview and pray about the other offers that don't seem right.  God hears your prayers, even when you have a shadow of a doubt.  It will all be worth it in the end.