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Now that I have that outta the way.. time for the real post.  

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always ... Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Hello!  I hope that your week is going well - for me, it's going at about glacial speed.  Not to mention there are some things going on in my life that are up in the air and are in God's hands.  As much as I want to say that I always have faith and patience in Him, there are days where I doubt His plan.

I remember that moment when I received the rejection letter for graduate school at a particular university, and it was like a knife in the gut.  The plan was perfect (in my eyes at least).  Stay in the current town that I was living in, attend class in the same building that I've always been used to, and be able to travel the less than an hour drive to get back home.  But He had other plans.  Without that rejection letter, I wouldn't have met the amazing ladies that I did and formed the friendships that I made.  For all of that, it was all worth it - regardless of the internal program problems.  

I thought I was going to marry him.  I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and I was going to be able to finish college before I married him.  I thought we were going to have the white-picket fence with the cute little house and cute little kids.  God had different plans - plans to protect and guide me.  I had no idea that three little conversations would alter my life.  I wish I could go back in time and give myself some advice, but nonetheless I owe it to Jesus for saving my life.

We've all made mistakes or made choices that have altered our lives.  The purpose of those lessons in life are not to harm you, not to bring you down, but to protect you.  There is so much more forest than the tree you see.  Pray about a fork in the road - He will listen.  Pray about the relationship that may or may not be what you need in your life.  Pray about the job interview and pray about the other offers that don't seem right.  God hears your prayers, even when you have a shadow of a doubt.  It will all be worth it in the end.

A day late and a dollar short: Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I'm not sure how to begin this entry, so I'll just start in the middle...

I feel like these past eight weeks have been quite the journey.  I never realized how unprepared I really was for my adult internship site until I stepped inside the rehab hospital doors.  I could blame the school or the program, but that would be a lie.  One of my not-so-new new year's resolutions is to stop blaming things on a third party.  Own up to your own mistakes and learn from them.  Much easier said than done, right?

I've been worried a lot about what will happen once I graduate, where I'll be for a job, where I'll be living once I move out of my mom's house (a bittersweet thought altogether), and how I'm going to handle being a "big girl" in this crazy world.  I keep wondering the purpose of all of the rejection that has been coming my way, telling and reassuring myself that there is a reason, I just don't know what God's plan is, or why He's doing this.  I know there's a reason, but the almost-permanent rose-colored glasses are fogging up my view.

 Imagine going on a simple search engine and seeing almost two-hundred places begging for an SLP.  Sounds too good to be true, right?  Yeah, that's what I wasn't thinking.  The elephant in the room is that many places do not want to take clinical fellows because that automatically means they have to provide a supervisor to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and you're not messing something up.   This also means paying for two salaries, not one.  Well, of course, a company doesn't want to do that, so they choose the person who already has their licenses and can work without a supervisor.  And it also doesn't help that everyone I know already has a job (hello, melodramatic self)...  (End selfish rant.)

Have faith, Kelsea.  I'll take care of you.  I'm not going to forsake you.  There is a job out there just for you and there is a reason why I have closed every single door and not yet opened one.  Just keep praying, My child.  Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  

Thank You, Lord.  You know exactly what I need. 

Much Love,
Kelsea