When I say now, God says not yet

When I was a little girl, I dreamed about my wedding - the colors, the dress, the flowers, the bridesmaids, and of course, my future husband.  In a world where everyone your age is getting married and having babies, and I'm over here saying, "When will it be my turn?", it's sometimes disheartening and makes you doubt a lot of things. 

You see an entire section of Pinterest dedicated to weddings and babies, and it seems as if everyone on Facebook is posting pictures of their beautiful rings, wedding receptions, and families, and I'm stuck here wondering, why not now?

Here I am, twenty six, about to be twenty seven in five short months, and I don't have the one man by my side.  Oklahoma would shake her head and look at me like a spinster or an old maid.

I beg to differ, young lady, you go right ahead and tilt your head back up, your tiara is about to fall off.

I know God has someone planned for me, someone whom I may or may not know yet.  Someone who is honest, caring, genuine, trustworthy, on fire for Christ, and possesses all of the things that I need in a Christian husband for a Christ centered relationship and marriage.

I say now, God says not yet.  There's not sense in trying to force something out of thin air.  I tried that already, and undoubtedly failed.

I thought because he wanted a second chance, I would let him have a second chance.  I thought, maybe things are different this time, and maybe he can prove to me that he deserves my love and affection.  Just goes to show you what your head and heart are capable of contradicting.  I wouldn't trade the tears of anger or sorrow, because they made me stronger than I was once before.  It teaches me that just because his father happens to be someone very important in the church-osphere, doesn't mean that his heart is in the right place.  I just have to remind myself that about every day.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)