I want to be mistaken for Jesus.
I feel like a hypocrite Christian. There are so many times when I display the love of God and I turn around and do not act as I should. I want to have fun and live my life, but not living for God is a dangerous gamble. When I choose to do the things I do, I hurt not only myself, but I hurt the outcome of God's plan for me. The most vivid example and testimony I can give was one year ago, on the Saturday before my second to last semester started. I decided to let go and not care about drinking as much as I wanted, and before I realized, I had consumed a very large amount of alcohol that could probably fill up a lemonade pitcher. As my memory faded in and out, God still allowed me to experience what I went through that night. I was completely miserable and I couldn't understand why I let myself get to that point of inebriation. I felt like I was blind, deaf, and mute all in one. I woke up that morning in tears begging Jesus to forgive me of my sins and I felt like a huge weight was immediately lifted off my shoulders as I was bent on both knees by my bedside. I am so grateful that I was forgiven of my sins and was able to start my life over as a sober individual. It was a new day, I was a new person, and I had all the power in the world to learn from my mistakes and move on. As much as it kills me to look through those pictures that somehow were taken over the course of that night, I am grateful that I have a visual reminder of what not to do and who to not be. One year and three months later, I have not been drunk once. I do admit I have had the occasional drink and then stopped from there. Any more, one drink is enough for me.
I do not regret my past, I have learned from it, and I am grateful for remembering the circumstances. Without them, I would not be who I am today. I would have not been able to share my testimony to Phi Lamb and urge them to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I wouldn't have been strong enough to walk away from an abusive relationship or be strong enough to not give into temptation with a one night stand. Most importantly, I have learned the meaning of trust. It's unfortunate that others have tried to take advantage of me in many aspects, but I am thankful for those experiences to learn from and allow others to vicariously learn from them as well.
Craig Groschel has been doing a series entitled, "FAQ - frequently asked questions" and one of the questions was concerning bad things happening to good people. I cannot believe how selfishly I considered this question. None of us are worthy of salvation and yet God forgave us, even when we were not here on earth, and we were made pure in Christ. We need to consider that good things have happened to bad people - myself included in this bunch. I am so thankful for what I have and who I am and I wouldn't change anything.
On another thought...
My phone has been dead for the past three hours, and I have yet to freak out and drive over to my mom's to go retrieve it. And it has been the most productive and peaceful three hours I have experienced today. I was able to spend time with my family, talk to a good friend, and play praise and worship music in my room. In fact, I'm dreading turning on my phone tomorrow because of all the possible texts and missed calls I may receive. Maybe this will be a new goal for me - one day a month (maybe?) I'll turn my phone completely off for twenty-four hours. Won't that be a challenge!
I feel like a hypocrite Christian. There are so many times when I display the love of God and I turn around and do not act as I should. I want to have fun and live my life, but not living for God is a dangerous gamble. When I choose to do the things I do, I hurt not only myself, but I hurt the outcome of God's plan for me. The most vivid example and testimony I can give was one year ago, on the Saturday before my second to last semester started. I decided to let go and not care about drinking as much as I wanted, and before I realized, I had consumed a very large amount of alcohol that could probably fill up a lemonade pitcher. As my memory faded in and out, God still allowed me to experience what I went through that night. I was completely miserable and I couldn't understand why I let myself get to that point of inebriation. I felt like I was blind, deaf, and mute all in one. I woke up that morning in tears begging Jesus to forgive me of my sins and I felt like a huge weight was immediately lifted off my shoulders as I was bent on both knees by my bedside. I am so grateful that I was forgiven of my sins and was able to start my life over as a sober individual. It was a new day, I was a new person, and I had all the power in the world to learn from my mistakes and move on. As much as it kills me to look through those pictures that somehow were taken over the course of that night, I am grateful that I have a visual reminder of what not to do and who to not be. One year and three months later, I have not been drunk once. I do admit I have had the occasional drink and then stopped from there. Any more, one drink is enough for me.
I do not regret my past, I have learned from it, and I am grateful for remembering the circumstances. Without them, I would not be who I am today. I would have not been able to share my testimony to Phi Lamb and urge them to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I wouldn't have been strong enough to walk away from an abusive relationship or be strong enough to not give into temptation with a one night stand. Most importantly, I have learned the meaning of trust. It's unfortunate that others have tried to take advantage of me in many aspects, but I am thankful for those experiences to learn from and allow others to vicariously learn from them as well.
Craig Groschel has been doing a series entitled, "FAQ - frequently asked questions" and one of the questions was concerning bad things happening to good people. I cannot believe how selfishly I considered this question. None of us are worthy of salvation and yet God forgave us, even when we were not here on earth, and we were made pure in Christ. We need to consider that good things have happened to bad people - myself included in this bunch. I am so thankful for what I have and who I am and I wouldn't change anything.
On another thought...
My phone has been dead for the past three hours, and I have yet to freak out and drive over to my mom's to go retrieve it. And it has been the most productive and peaceful three hours I have experienced today. I was able to spend time with my family, talk to a good friend, and play praise and worship music in my room. In fact, I'm dreading turning on my phone tomorrow because of all the possible texts and missed calls I may receive. Maybe this will be a new goal for me - one day a month (maybe?) I'll turn my phone completely off for twenty-four hours. Won't that be a challenge!
Well, as much as I would love to continue my novel, I must be getting to sleep – big day tomorrow! Goodnight, and sweet dreams.
Much Love. Xoxo
Kelsea Lauren
No comments:
Post a Comment