Psalm 40:8

I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.

Third week into grad school; so far I still have all of my fingers and toes, both eyes, and most of my hair. Through this process, I have had many desires, ranging from food (I'm now loving my new granola and raisin cereal), soft drinks (raspberry lemonade), being productive (grad school doesn't allow time for cleaning or laundry, lol), or just laying in the sun by the pool. We all have temporary cravings that tend to take over our thinking processes. For example, during my Research class yesterday, I was craving a chicken sandwich and all I could think about was leaving the classroom and going to get a chicken sandwich and accompany it with a Dr. Pepper. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and it made me hungrier and hungrier and I desired it more and more.

Why is it than whenever we crave worldly, temporary things, we forget about desiring God? I received my "daily words of wisdom" that were accompanied by daily bible verses, and one of them said (paraphrased), "Lord, allow me to desire You like You desire me." I will be the first to admit that desiring God is the last thing on my "to do" list. We get so busy and wrapped up with life, that we forget the One who gave us life. We desire friendships and relationships, happiness and joy, contentness and love, passion and encouragement. Whatever the desire may be, we need to continue to desire Jesus. I know this is difficult to desire a God that we can't physically see, we can't physically touch, or sometimes hear God's words of wisdom. When I was younger, I thought that God was this big, powerful King (and He still is) that you had to make an appointment with or had to make a sacrifice to (which we still do in some respects) and a God that wasn't really personal, but someone who we had to prepare our hearts in a way that was above and beyond the call of duty. Now that I am a little older and (hopefully) a little wiser, I've associated God with a wise grandpa. He's always there for you, has a plethora of wisdom to tell you, loves you for who you are, comforts you in need, laughs at all of your funny stories, and I could go on. He is a personal God who we can tell anything and everything to and He will listen. How great is that?

This is why I choose to desire God everyday. During my hardships in my sophomore and portions of my junior years of college, I was constantly seeking happiness through other worldly things, as well as desiring for constant friendships and love. Not only was I not seeking God through this time, I was trying to fill my "happiness jar" with junk food, movies, hanging out with people, and letting my grades slip. Now that I am able to look back and see what kind of state I was in through diary entries, I can obviously see why I was so depressed - God wasn't in the picture. I didn't have the desire to seek Him because I was angry. I wanted to be instantly gratified. Then everything changed with I changed my mindset and started focusing on building a relationship with God again. Yes, He was always there with me during my depressive states, but I finally felt alive again because I let God work in me. With the help of Phi Lamb and other important people in my life, I was able to truly and genuinely desire God, in addition to following in His footsteps. Yes, it is important to desire Jesus, but we also have to put forth the effort by following His rules and His plan. We can't expect to live our lives the way we want and God will magically make our lives perfect. We have to do our part.

Sometimes it's not easy, sometimes it's strenuous or exhausting, or we feel like we're constantly running into a brick wall or having to cross a raging river with no canoe or paddle. Yes, we will fail, but the great part is that we will also succeed. If we seek Jesus and follow His law and plan, our lives will reflect it.
Below is my prayer, Jesus. Take my life, make it Yours.

"My Desire" - Jeremy Camp

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by You

You want to be real, you want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel You near
And I know my life
It's to do Your will
It's to do Your will...

Much Love,
Your daughter, Kelsea