Tough: Isaiah 41:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you; 
do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; 
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I made a promise to myself that I would write in here after every week of interning; we all know how that is going...

I am into my forth week of running around an elementary school like a chicken with my head cut off.  I've learned that what worked for one child one day, sure as the world, will not work the next time.  Stickers lose their appeal, praise becomes mundane and robotic, and creativity seems to fly out the window when Plan B fails.  

Just today, this little scenario happened:

Child: "Miss Ash, how old are you?" (She can't say her "n" sound yet)

Me: "Twenty-four." 

Child: "Are you married?"

Me: "Not yet."

Child: "That's old, aren't you lonely?"

If I wasn't in a public school and gently slapping the back of their head was considered "okay", I would have in this situation.

I heard a quote the other day, 

"Don't pray that God will 

put someone in your life, 

pray to be ready when they come."

Tough thing to not do, huh?  I couldn't tell you how many times I have sing-songed a prayer asking for that very thing.  It's tough to go from having a future husband in your life to shutting the door of a relationship that held on to your heart strings like no other.  "Throw away the trash, find and hold on to the treasure, and run." 

Another tough challenge for me is being "little miss perfect clinician" in the public school.  Unfortunately, I was not assigned to a "real" public school setting for my on campus assignment, and I was not exposed to dealing with little kids who are knee-high to a grasshopper and like to tell stories rather than work on sounds and pronouns.  They also didn't teach me in that dang school how to modify directions when administering formal tests.  I know this sounds petty and silly, but when it's drilled into your head that you have been giving away too much information in your questions and therefore you are screwing up your results, it's hard to find a happy medium.  I have felt incompetent and uneasy, like I should go back to class and "learn somethin'".  Thankfully, a dear friend of mine relayed some words of wisdom:  "The day you say, 'I've learned everything' is the day you take your sign off your door."  

It has also been tough staying perky and somewhat alive during school hours as well for the past week until now.  Allergies have gotten the best of me, and it without a pound's worth of make up on, it looks like I have been beaten to near-death around my eyes.  On top of this, I have had a runny/stuffy nose, sore throat, coughing fits, and probably a bunch more of yucky-feelings.  It was very, more like extremely, tough to get up at the bum-crack of dawn on a Monday morning (of all mornings) to get to Tahlequah by 9 a.m., just to listen to two lectures and take an Audiology test that made me feel like an idiot. 

Life is tough.  It's not to tick us off or to harm us, but to challenge us.  When the lesson is learned and we can set a better example for others, it makes it all worth it.