LIfe is not easy

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Good evening, Father.  Thank You for giving me rest today, as You know Monday and Tuesday were crazy and I didn't realize how exhausted I would be afterwards.  I am so thankful You gave me the opportunity to intern at JDMC.  Thank You for putting a burden on my heart to watch that movie (Fireproof).  Teach me to fireproof my own life.  I don't want to have an easy life, I want to have a testimony that points itself to You.  

As of now, I have completed my second day of my forty (work) day journey of interning.  I remember waking up at 5:30 that first morning, with a happy attitude and the first words that came to mind were, "Thank you, Lord, for a good night's rest.  Let's do this!" ... as cheesy as that sounds.  After arriving literally an hour early, instead of checking facebook and playing a quick game of Monopoly, I wish I would have just shut the phone off and talked to God.  Every day is so precious and a gift from God, and yet, here I am worrying about what everyone else has going on in their lives.

I looked through my New Year's resolutions and I have to be honest with you, I haven't even come close to completing them.  The only (lame) excuse is that I became abundantly stressed about the Praxis and instead of giving it to God, I decided to have a whining and freak out party with  myself.  I might as well have tried to walk on my hands, which is near to impossible.  Why do I do that?  Why do I choose to not rely on Him when life becomes stressful?  I might as well call myself a hypocrite for not walking the walk.

I've also noticed that I complain... a lot.  It almost turns into a "my problem is bigger than your problem" competition between what appears to be me and my peers/family.  Stupid, I know.  I even complain about the fact that "all my friends are married and are having babies and here I am without a rock on my left ring finger and no babies in my arms."  As I'm having lunch with my supervisor and her friends, I'm hearing all of these stories about mistakes their children have made and how they are having financial issues, and here I am complaining about how I can't get my tush into gear.  So a new challenge for myself is when I want to complain, pray about it.  He's always listening, He's never busy, and He will never forsake me.  

When a patient may or may not be behaving, talk to God about it.  When a fellow coworker is being hateful, take it up to God.  When the paycheck won't stretch any further, give it to God.  When someone is having a bad day, give them a word of encouragement, tell them you are praying for them.  You never know how much those words mean to people.

Life is not easy.  God doesn't put things in our life to bring us down, but to make us stronger.  

Much love, 

Kelsea Lauren