Simply stated, l-o-v-e

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7

Happy Saturday.  I cannot believe it has been this long since I have written in here.  

I finally finished my CFY about a month and a half ago and I am currently waiting on all of the necessary paperwork to be approved so I can finally get my national certification, which is the big kahuna of what I have been working for, for the past, oh, eight years of my life.  Maybe twenty-six.    It's one of those never ending, is the world gong to end before it gets here, type of feelings.  Two more weeks cannot come fast enough.  

This summer has been tough, but a wonderful learning experience.  You get to the point where you wonder if this is the time when the life lessons are going to go on hold, but they never do.  You can replay situations in your head until you end up falling asleep from mental exhaustion (sounds all too familiar from today), but it doesn't change the past.  What you can do is learn from those mistakes and apply what you have learned in the future.  

As naive and boastful as this may sound, I thought I knew how to find the perfect soul mate and have the perfect relationship.  I thought after so many "oops" and "uh-ohs" and "what were you thinking?" moments, I would have this all figured out.  Nope.  Not even close.  It's a tough road to travel on, and I have learned quickly that it takes a lot of work, especially when eleven and a half years are involved.  (And let's just hear that resounding "duh!" right about now.) 

He's different.  Not a good or bad different, just different.  The way he treats me, the way he holds my hand or kisses my forehead, or says my name, it makes my heart melt.  He's not afraid to speak his mind and snap back when I did him wrong.  His sarcasm and wit are two different breeds - of which I sometimes wonder if I can handle myself.  Probably not.  He's older, wiser, and has more life experiences than I have so far.  It's a constant learning experience with him, and there are times when I feel like I should just keep my mouth shut, and other times I wish I would say the words I am feeling more often.  His stubbornness is a challenge, and I feel like my patience meter runs out before it should.  He's set in his ways - and due to obvious circumstances, has every right to be.  It breaks my heart when he's upset or angry.  I have never had these kinds of feelings for someone, and it scares me.  It scares me that I haven't put up my guard high enough, or haven't put enough stone around my heart to make sure it isn't broken again.  I'm not perfect, and I am an expert of making a fool of myself.  But I do know that if I didn't feel this way, it wasn't meant to be.  That's how I know. 

It isn't going to be easy, but I know that, in the end, it will be worth it.