Here comes the... singleness?

Ever since I was a little girl, I would day dream and draw rough sketches of what my dream wedding dress would be: off the shoulder, snow white, lace for days, and a long train (although, not a full on "Diana"). As I am growing older, and my twenty-third birthday is around the corner (two days to be exact!), I wonder when God will finally show me the man that I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life. It's hard to fathom that for years ago, I was in a serious relationship that was destined for a short engagement, many heartaches, and soon forgiveness for hurt. As much as I would love to tell my story to everyone whom I come in contact with, I still have that burning sensation in the depths of my heart that wishes that I would have that very special day. Yet, through these past four years, the world's rejection has been God's protection. I would love to wave a magic wand and see who my future husband may be, but God doesn't work that way, and I'm pretty sure my life would change dramatically if I knew who my husband was before I met him. It reminds me of the story of Adam and Eve and the first temptation. Satan was tempting Eve to eat the forbidden fruit in order to gain knowledge that Satan claimed that would give her wisdom beyond what God can provide her. God has a plan for me, I know it, and when that time comes, then I'll know. As much as I want to argue with myself and argue with God and tell him I'm becoming a little more impatient, the more I realize how much of my life I have ahead of me. This includes: applying to graduate school, actually getting accepted into a master's program for SLP, finishing that up, becoming state and nationally certified, being able to teach, and I could go on. As much as I would love to fit a husband into this category, I cannot really see it until I'm finally in grad school.

It's simply amazingly crazy that so many of my friends whom I graduated high school with are married, have babies, or have babies on the way (or all three!). I couldn't imagine, at my age, taking care of another human being that I brought into the world or a taking care of a husband.