Matthew 22:37-39

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure...

I always find it difficult to not get consumed in the superficial, face-value of Valentine's Day. It's difficult to not daydream about a lovely bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, a perfect dinner and a movie date, and a sweetly innocent kiss to end the perfect night. It's seems so cliche to think that I have wanted for this endeavor, this scene, for so long. But the most important, above all, is God's honest to goodness, sincere, unique, and not circumstantial l.o.v.e. for us. Boys come and go, as I have experienced in my life, but God has never left my side or my heart. I have to constantly remind myself this every day. There are so many instances that I forget that it's His love that truly matters, not the shallow love that I constantly find myself fully investing in. I remember one V-day event; we cooked and had to listen to my parents fight in the other room. With contradicting circumstances in the same house, it was hard to not justify diving into the former love I once knew wholeheartedly. And as much as I would love to turn back the clock and maybe change a few things that I said or did, I can only look forward and learn from my mistakes. Especially now that I am older, I have come to realize that I truly do not understand love. When I witness my friends becoming engaged and married, it's hard to accept the fact that I chose to not take that path over three years ago. I can always wonder what it would have been like, and how things may or may not have turned out, but the one thing I am missing in all of these "what if" scenarios is God. He was the one that brought me to life and saved me from my sins. He was the one that held me under his wing when I was battling depression. He was always by my side when the world seemed to turn its head away. That is the love that I have, am, and will always crave. It is in Him that I choose to love with all of my heart, soul, and mind. But I add to this verse. I add my thoughts, actions, words, presence, choices, and any other aspect of my life. I love Him because He first loved me. And that is the greatest Valentine's Day present anyone can give me.